The Slow-Cooked Sentence

Five things needed to induce sleep in a toddler

Rachael Conlin Levy
Courtesy of Elfleda.

One story
Two breasts filled with milk
Three songs: “Twinkle Star,” “You Are My Sunshine” and, finally, the national anthem
Four kisses
Five drinks of water

Then, we begin a cycle that looks something like this, and continues throughout the night:

Ivan in his big boy bedivan grumpyIvan in his big boy bed
ivan grumpyIvan in his big boy bedivan grumpy

Which means there’s a problem with sleep, or lack thereof, in my house. Maybe he has sleep apnea? You know, when someone stops breathing for a second or two and so wakes up a lot, I suggested to my husband. More like sleep asshole-nea, he replied.



3 responses to “Five things needed to induce sleep in a toddler”

  1. mochiv says:

    Sleep asshole-nea!!! That's hilarious.

  2. mamapease says:

    You make me laugh. Ok, Do you think Ivan is getting too much nap during the day?

  3. That cracked me up, totally sounds like something my husband would say.

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